Sunday, November 4, 2012

Success

One worry that persists in me despite my varied attempts to quell it is appearing successful in the eyes of others.

Part of my motivation for doing Peace Corps was to be admired for my noble choice and dedication. Shameless? Would-be humanitarians, like everybody else, have a need for attention and acceptance.

I remember when I received my acceptance letter from Peace Corps to go to Niger. I was so overjoyed, telling everyone I met! To some I must have appeared quite a lunatic. "You're EXCITED to leave the greatest country in the world for TWO YEARS to work for FREE in one of the hottest, poorest countries in the whole WORLD?" a few of them must have thought. "What the heck is wrong with you?!" Most were polite enough not to verbalize such thoughts and by so doing rain on my parade (I really don't have that many, parades that is).

A few people questioned my choice to go to a foreign country to help people when people are suffering right here in the US of A. This was a new perspective for me and I never knew quite how to adequately reply, and I still do not. Ready for a sweeping generalization? The conditions of impoverished Africans are much more pressing than those of impoverished Americans. Logically, aid would seem to be most merited by those most in need. Thus I went where I did!

Now I work with some American Poor through Americorps and I still get the sense people think I'm crazy for doing what I'm doing! "It's nice to help those less fortunate, but it's certainly not the most important thing."

Money, power, fame- these have evaded me, or I them.

What should I do to be a successful American? And does it matter if I am?