Monday, June 25, 2012

We want what we do not Want: Reflections on Service

"Doing Peace Corps was when I felt most alive."
-random Peace Corps Volunteer

Due to the nature of my current occupation (namely, finding one...), I find myself, like in Africa, with much unstrucutred time in which my restless thoughts scurry off to all corners of Everywhere. Work, the economy, society, American culture, are some of those places. But naturally my mind often flees back to Niger and Mali. The process of processing experiences like that is no quick thing, as I try to make sense of so much I lived through. I'm reminded of a quote by Kierkegaard: "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." I know I will be puzzling and working through my time in Africa for years. Which is great! Only such a rich experience would provide that. In this post, however, I want to muse a little on where I am at now, especially with regards to "service." If the idea of wondering about why people volunteer, and how it changes both themselves and who they work with, interests you, then kindly read on!

First, I want to say just a little about my motivations for joining Peace Corps. They are not entirely noble and selfless, which I am coming to believe is true of many who do such work (and nearly all human actions, but that's a post for another day). First, as a liberal arts major with no hot job prospects (see: first sentence of this post) Peace Corps seemed like a reasonable alternative compared with getting into the "job market." Second, possibly from my religious background, which included a lot of "community service," I did (and still do!) have a desire to help people. Thirdly, and the strongest  of my motivations, was the need to feel important and necessary. There it is. The really selfish reason! I went halfway around the world to prove to people how important I was, that I mattered. (And I write this post in another such attempt at attention. The ego loves the spotlight!)

Of course when I got to Niger everything I had thought it was going to be was catastrophically turned upside down. Totally. Nothing was as I had thought it would be. Including the work I was doing! As an "education volunteer" teaching seemed like a logical guess as to what we would be doing. But oh this was not so.  Volunteers have roles as facilitators, mentors, cheerleaders. We try to get our community members to work together to solve their own problems. We provide technical advice and support, based on our education and experiences. That descrpition does not romanticize the work, and I hope those descrpitions do not dimish it: I like to think volunteers do get some really cool work done. It's just different than they thought it would be, in that mostly we encourage others to do work rather than doing their jobs for them.

I think I am getting off track. Well, I mentioned how our advice-giving and leading of committees is a big part of what we do. The other part, equally big, is cultural exchange. And this is the really cool part about Peace Corps service: the immersion in a foreign culture and the sharing of our own. It's what makes Peace Corps a unique program. There are many many aid groups working in developing countries to better impoverished nations. But how many organizations place their workers at the grassroots level, in the village, to live close to the level of those they have come to help? I tell you, not many! Peace Corps volunteers learn the local langauge, take a local name, wear local clothes, eat local food (with care package food supplementing, on the side...), dance like maniacs at weddings (I can only speak for myself...but I assume it's common), attend funerals, everything. Heck, some volunteers even marry locals!

So we did Peace Corps to be a Hero, to change the world. We got to our country and were shocked at everything, especially what we were supposed to be doing there. We adjust, most of us. We live close to the local level (but, and it's important to note this,  not at, what with our medicine, huge living allowances, our guaranteed trip home, and so on). We eat weird food, we get sick. Even make a friend or two! We completely embarrass ourselves in front of the locals in a variety of interesting ways. We miss home and friends and food and just familiar things. The strangeness fascinates us, then terrifies us, and then it eventually bores us. So why do we stay?

Why do we stay?

To try and put a little good into the world. To learn about a new culture the best way possible. To share our American culture and set the record straight. To grow.

For that's one of the great things about service: you get what you give. By giving your time and energy for no material reward you are put into places you have never been, do things you have never done, and learn things you never even  knew that you did not know.

Yes it is hard to explain our motivations. Yes "ourselves" is really our first priority. But we can strive for something greater than just our own personal happiness. And the great thing about service- of doing things for others without expecting anything in return- without expecting love, appreciation, gratitude, or even understanding of our efforts- service lets us be better than we are in an attempt to get beyond ourselves and connect with other lives, a reminder that no one is alone, and only together can we be "ever closer to what the Dreamer in the dark intended before the dust arose and walked" (Loren Eiseley, "The Hidden Teacher).

And that is what Peace Corps taught me.


Do you see what I see?











Thursday, June 7, 2012

All Cowboys Hang Up Their Saddles One Day

Back in the USA. Twice have I gone out into the world to do good and twice have I been sent back early. Now where does my compass point???

I have tentatively began looking for jobs, but so far the search has been...unproductive. Furthermore, nothing I've seen so far seems to match up to my Peace Corps experiences in Niger and Mali. In Peace Corps the work feels so important, so necessary, so vital, that even though it's hard, we give so much to it. Teaching a class, leading a health training for mothers, repairing water pumps with the village sanitation committees (shout out to PC Mali Wat/San folks!)- the best! Finding purpose in post Peace Corps work seems to be a challenge for many former volunteers. I am sure something will come, eventually...

Enough of me! Do you know how Mali is doing? I don't know if you have been following the news about Mali since the coup, and I don't really want to summarize everything here. However, I can say a few words. The north of Mali, which has been taken over and declared a new state (Azawad, currently not recognized by a single international body), has been put into a humanatarian crisis. In the capital, Bamako, there are still many uncertainities regarding the interim governemnt, the holding of elections (all but impossible to do with the North how it is), the role of the millitary junta in the government, the possible deployment of 3,000 to 5,000 troops from ECOWAS (Economic Community of West African States) to Mali. Things are far from resolved in Mali, politcally, and on top of that, all signs (drought, poor harvest) point towards a famine this year in the Sahel region (Mauritania, Mali, Burkina Faso, Niger, Chad). Is there no end?

Okay, so people are suffering greatly in Mali, West Africa. And with Mali being in the news so frequently,  people are only getting one side of the story- the coup and the rebellion in the North, portraying Mali as just another dysfunctional war fraught country, a potential "failed state."  The richness of Malian culture and amazing fortitude of the Malian people are ignored. The joking, the resolute acceptance of life's difficulties, the strength, the dancing, the henna, the laughter, the hospitality (especially this!), the warmth of Mali's people- these do not make news headlines. And yet they are what we volunteers saw everyday, why our stay in Mali was not a prison term but an opportunity to to give and receive, to teach but also to learn. To love. 2 my fellow Niger volunteers now serving in Rwanda and Kenya have told me the people in their countries are not this friendly or open. Here's a great video which has so many of our beloved Malian friends just living their lives.

I still have much to say (probably too much), and am wondering if I will continue this blog since my Peace Corps service has ended. I think I should probably close it, but first I will get a few more entries out. Maybe my favorite pictures from Mali will show up here. I might start a new blog and write about stuff which interest me- art, poetry, international affairs, religion (but would anyone read it...). I have to say, writing this blog, and even knowing that a few people have read it, has been rewarding. Though I can get kinda gloomy these days I am still dancing, still reading poetry, spending great time with friends and family, and in my better moments feel grateful for what I lived and saw in Niger and Mali. Times of transition are difficult because of the inherent uncertainity...we crave answers, order, direction, signs and portents...